I Feel Like Ghosting Everyone

The Hidden Weight of Being a First Daughter and the Permission to Pause

Dear Besties…Especially the First daughters

Some days, I feel like ghosting everyone. Just… disappearing from everything and go into hiding. Not because I don’t love people or because I’m mad at them. But because being a first daughter comes with a weight that nobody really sees.

You know the type: everyone’s expectations silently pinned on your back. Family looks at you like you’re the standard…“the smart one,” “the responsible one,” “the one who must fix things.” Friends assume you’ve got it all together. Even strangers sometimes nod at you like you’ve got life figured out. And while I try to meet all those expectations, there are nights when I just want to unplug.

I want to stop explaining myself. Stop justifying why I can’t always be the perfect listener, the super helper, or the go-to for everyone’s problems. Some days, I just want silence. Just me, my thoughts, and the freedom to breathe without judgment or pressure.

It’s hard admitting this because first daughters are taught to be strong, to lead, to never falter. But here’s the truth: being strong doesn’t mean never needing a break. It doesn’t mean carrying every burden silently. Ghosting for a moment doesn’t make you a bad daughter, a bad friend, or a bad person. It means you’re human, and humans need space to recharge.

So today, I’m giving myself permission to pause. To step back. To be unapologetically still, even if only for a little while. And if you’re a first daughter reading this? Give yourself that permission too. You’re allowed to breathe, to be messy, to feel overwhelmed without guilt. You don’t have to be everyone’s superhero every single day.

Take the time you need. The world will still be here when you’re ready to come back. And trust me, those who truly care will understand.

Your Bestie,

Cici Tiwa