Letter To My Teenage Self

The Reality of Growing Up…It’s Not What You Think

Dear Teenage Me,

I know that you’re over there in your head thinking that all of this growing up, becoming an adult stuff will be everything you’ve ever wanted. You can’t wait to leave behind the days when you were always being punished, always told to stay at home, always struggling with loneliness. You dream of independence, freedom, friends, love, and everything that adulthood promises.

But believe me, it’s not easier than it seems.

I’m 25 years old, I will be 26 in few months, And guess what? I’m not married. I know you thought you’d be married by now, maybe even with kids, a perfect home, and a life that made sense. You always wanted to grow up fast, thinking adulthood would be magical. But sweetie, if you knew what I know now, you’d hold on tight to those carefree days, when life wasn’t overwhelming and wasn’t a burden.

I don’t yet have a car, even when you dreamed about having one by now. And my social circle? Tiny…very tiny. I don’t go out any more like I fantasized about when I first entered senior secondary school. I don’t have many friends, in fact, and I have only a few persons who understand me at a deeper level.

Adulthood is a mixture of cruel and brutal reality. It’s nothing I ever dreamed it could ever be. there are moments when you feel like you’ve made it, but there are so many tears behind the scenes.

Things have not been fair in any shape or form. It’s been madness. Dreams I dreamed in my teens sometimes seemed a thousand years ago, and I wish I could tell you that you will cry. You’ll cry a lot, And no, not the dramatic, cute kind of crying. The real, gut-wrenching, painful tears. The ones that make your chest ache. The ones that come at 2 a.m.

You always wanted to be independent, to make your own money, to live life on your terms. And you’re doing that. But no one told you how lonely it would feel sometimes. No one told you how exhausting it would be to keep going even when you’re running on empty.

But I’m still here and, despite all the pain, I’m fighting. I have days when I doubt myself, i have days when I wonder whether it’s worth it.

Dear Teenage me, No, I don’t party. That’s never been my thing. But I sit in my space, reflecting, wondering, hoping that all this struggle will be worth it in the end.

You were so eager to grow older, to get away from the world that seemed so controlling. But now, I look back, and I can’t help but wish I had enjoyed those moments more. I wonder why I could not have seen that it will pay off, but also that it would hurt so much along the way.

There are days I want to give up, but I keep pushing, knowing that in one form or another, it will make sense.

Oh, and about love? You thought you had it all figured out, right? You believed the guy you once loved was the one. You thought you’d end up together, that life would work out just like in the stories. But life is funny. People change. Feelings shift. You’ll meet others. Some will break your heart, some will teach you lessons, and some will leave without warning. But you’ll survive. You’ll learn that love isn’t always forever, and that’s okay.

Your heart will break, but it will heal, and in time, you’ll realize that you’re enough just as you are. You’re not defined by your relationship status, by what others think of you, or by your career milestones. You are strong, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

Now, let’s talk about something beautiful. You used to write. You had so many stories in your head, so many things you wanted to put on paper. And at some point, you gave up. You stopped believing in your words. But guess what? You found your way back. You’re writing again. And not just writing…you’re making money from it. It’s something that makes you happy, something that reminds you of who you are.

You’ve made it through school. You graduated, completed your NYSC, and now? You’re working. You’re not just surviving…you’re building something for yourself, something you once only dreamed of.

And guess what? You’ve found Christ in a way you never expected. The girl who once felt lost, confused, and unsure of where she stood now holds onto faith like it’s the air she breathes. You’ve grown, and in all the chaos of adulthood, in all the tears and struggles, you’ve found something unshakable…God’s love.

So, Dear teenage me, take a deep breath. Life won’t be what you expect. It will break you in ways you never thought possible. It will test you, stretch you, make you question everything. But you will survive. And somehow, despite everything, you will still have hope.

Hold on, okay? You’ll make it. You always do.

With love,

The older you, Tiwatope