Men Cry Too And It’s Okay

Your Pain Is Hurting You More

Dear Besties,

Let’s talk about something that makes some people uncomfortable but needs to be said… Men are not robots. They feel, they hurt, they break, they cry. And guess what? They should be allowed to.

Some of you will say, “Ah, but men are supposed to be strong.” My dear, who told you that emotions equal weakness? Since when did crying become a crime? Since when did expressing pain become a threat to masculinity? Who created this nonsense rulebook that says men must bottle up everything like Coke under the sun? Because let’s be honest, we all know what happens when you shake a Coke too much…it explodes.

We tell men to be strong, but we forget that even strength needs a place to rest. How can you expect a man to give love when he has never been allowed to feel safe? How can he carry the weight of the world when he’s not even allowed to acknowledge that it’s heavy?

And let’s not lie, society has done a bad job with men. We teach boys from a young age that showing emotions is shameful. “Stop crying like a girl.” “Men don’t cry.” “Man up.” We have used these words so much that now, many men walk around carrying silent pain. They laugh with you, but at night, they sit alone, drowning in emotions they were never taught how to process. And because they don’t know how to release that pain, it either turns into anger or silence. And both are dangerous.

I have always talked about women, women, women. And because of that, people have called me a feminist. It’s funny because I’m not even fighting only for women. I fight for people. I have seen both men and women suffer in silence because society expects them to act a certain way.

I speak for men because I have brothers. Because I will have a husband. Because one day, I will raise a son, and I refuse for him to grow up in a world that tells him that his feelings don’t matter. That he should suffer quietly. That he must “man up” instead of speaking up. I want to raise a son who knows that his emotions are valid, his tears are not shameful, and his pain is not something to hide.

So, dear men, please cry if you need to. Crying doesn’t make you weak; it makes you human. Be with a woman who respects your emotions, not one who mocks them. If you ever find yourself with someone who says, “Why are you crying like a woman?” Run. Run fast. Because that person doesn’t love you, they want to control you.

And to the women reading this…please, allow the men in your life to be vulnerable. Don’t ask for an emotionally available man and then mock him when he opens up. Don’t tell your son to “stop crying like a girl.” Pain does not have a gender. Tears do not have a gender.

At the end of the day, we are all human beings. We are allowed to feel. We are allowed to hurt. We are allowed to express.

Men, you are not robots. You deserve softness and kindness too.

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Song For The Day

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Your Bestie,

Tiwatope.